Dear Mr. Listing Agent,
Although we have not yet met...you have been the source of great inspiration for me. Oh YES...that is why I am writing you today. You see...I'm dedicating a whole chapter just to you...as you have contributed so much valuable material to my (yet-to-be-published) R.E. Rule Book. Rest assured that I will reserve an autographed copy just for you; however, I'll give you an exclusive, never-before-seen, sneak peek right now.
I sincerely hope that you will enjoy reading Elizabeth's R.E. Rule Book and recommend it to all of your friends. As you read, you may even recognize THEIR contribution to this chapter, as well.
Thanks again for ALL of that you have personally done to make Elizabeth's R.E. Rule Book a reality!
Warmest regards,
Elizabeth Nieves
Rule #3: IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SHOW IT!
(Rule #3 is such an important and complex rule...I have broken it down into FIVE parts.)
A. IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...PLEASE TAKE PICTURES!
Okay...Mr. Listing Agent...I feel as though I need to remind you that this is 2007...almost 2008. Digital cameras are dirt cheap, and even the most technologically disadvantaged agent can learn to operate one. Buy a digital camera and take pictures. IF you don't have pictures on your MLS listing, I'm probably going to click past it. Sorry...but I am easily distracted by all the pretty pictures. Besides...(and please don't be offended)...IF your listing is so wonderful...why won't you show me a picture?
B. IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WAIT THREE DAYS TO SHOW IT!
You know who you are, don't you? I know you do! This one is just for you...Mr. Listing Agent...who asks for 72 hours notice before I can schedule an appointment to show your listing. And...OH NO...your 72 hour notice does not apply to just one listing...it is your STANDARD SHOWING POLICY. Please understand that my clients will be under contract on another home within 72 hours...and your listing will still be on the market. Just a suggestion...you may want to consider a NEW POLICY!
C. IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...PLEASE GIVE ME ACCURATE DIRECTIONS!
YES...I can read a map...but I assume that you can also. It is, after all, YOUR listing. Am I wrong to expect that YOU will know the best and fastest route to take to YOUR listing? I REALLY want to show your listing. You took such lovely pictures! Just please...PLEASE...give me good directions. And...if it is NOT too much to ask...could you also spell the neighborhood and street names correctly? That is so helpful...in the event that your directions lead me into the great and glorious unknown. (OH YES...that place does exists...I've been there while looking for your listings.)
D. IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...PLEASE DON'T HIDE THE LOCKBOX FROM ME!
When I was a little girl, I LOVED Easter egg hunts. What wonderful memories I have of searching for the cleverly hidden eggs...the delight I felt when I discovered a brightly, colored treasure. I'm over that now. I assure you that I do not enjoy playing 'Hide-n-Seek' the combination lockbox...nor 'Lockbox Marco Polo'. And...if you feel that you MUST place the lockbox somewhere other than the front door...would you please be so kind to make a note of its location in your showing instructions.
One last thing...for those of you who do place the lockbox on the front door (but forget to give the combination to the showing service)...could you just NOT do that? Or...at the very least...will you please call me back with the combination when I call to inform you that I wish to show your listing?
E. IF YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOUR LISTING...PLEASE WARN ME IF YOUR SELLERS ARE FREAKS!
Mr. Listing Agent...I truly understand that you work for your client. I promise that I will never ask you to compromise your fiduciary duty; however, I would very much appreciate a little warning if your client is a freak.
IF your client is a recluse who has not been out of his home in five years...I would like to know.
IF your client is prejudice and has threatened to shoot if someone of color comes to his house...that is valuable information to me.
IF your client is on medication to control his violent outbursts...and he often forgets to take his medication...I need to know this!
IF your client is an exhibitionist...just a little mention in the agent only remarks is all I'm asking.
IF your client verbally or physically threatened the last agent who attempted to show his home...please share this information with me.
IF your client has a large attack dog who answers the door...you must give me warning. (This rule also applies to reptiles of all kinds.)
And finally...IF you are afraid to be alone with your client...or you feel the need to 'pack' a weapon when you visit your listing...PLEASE forget about me and save yourself. (You should be ashamed of your greedy self for taking that listing in the first place, but get out while you still can.)
Written and Posted by:
Elizabeth Nieves - Broker, REALTOR® -- The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group @ Keller Williams (A Bilingual Real Estate Team serving Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill NC and surrounding areas.)
Visit our website at http://www.elizabethnieves.com
Karen: Thanks!! I'm in agreement with you. There is way too much 'crap' going on 'out there'. Do it right or get out of my business!! (That's my new motto!) ;-)
Lloyd: Ya'd think, huh?? It's okay...I don't mind spelling it out for them.
Elizabeth,
Well done and Amen,
some people need to learn about this and they need to allow us to do a great job and offer a great service, but if they are just adding obstacles on our work, we will have a nightmare.
ray Saenz
Ray: EXACTLY!!! And...you know what...I don't mind doing my work, but I don't want to do their work. ;-)
Tony and Darcy: THANKS! Now that I got that off my chest...I'm going to bed. It's kinda late here in NC.
Elizabeth,
Really 72 hours, what planet is this person on...or what drugs...I feel sorry for his customer. Let's just hope he has a short term listing.
Hey, I have an idea...go get it....nite...WOW, late here as well...
Nice Post. I am constantly telling sellers that if we don't get showings we can't sell their home. In this market especially, my sellers have been really accomodating.
Sal Poliandro - Bergen County Realtor
Elizabeth, 72 Hours...You have seen that? No way that would fly in our market. Next..No Photos...Next. Very funny Elizabeth, if it weren't so sad!
Ginger
Elizabeth
Great post.....I try to make all my properties available at anytime if anyone calls as my job is to sell them....
My goodness. "E" makes me sick. I'm grateful that I haven't run into the bigoted seller in many many years, or the seller who is an exhibitionist. I don't understand how a listing agent can keep a home on the market when they are up against scenarios like that.
Nice job Elizabeth!
I'm with Missy! LOL This is so useful! I'm going to use it to talk to some of my Agent friends today about the coming weekend.
Mike in Tucson
Jason: Believe me...ALL of the examples I used are real! Can you believe it? I actually had a seller threaten me with a hammer when I showed up with my Hispanic clients...SERIOUSLY! The listing agent then later told me that he has anger issues. DUH!!!
Karen: The listing agent who has the 72 hour policy does that for all his listings. You think that might be why his listings are still on the market after a year? Hmmmmmmmm.....makes you wonder.
Sal: That is one way to stay above the competition. Thanks for stopping by!
Ginger: YES! See my comments above. ALL of my examples are real. VERY SAD! I don't make this stuff up...I just report the facts! HeeHee
Julie: You are doing it the right way!! YEAH!!!
Kris: I've run into ALL of those scenarios...and they were ALL difficult. It is really sad. I tried to package it humorously...but it is still sad. Oh...and thank you!
Linda: AMEN!! It makes us look bad when we are caught in the middle of that stuff. :-)
Missy: PLEEEESSSSSSSSSSSEEEEE TELL ME!!!
Mike: Good idea! I'll just have to save you an autographed copy also, my friend!! (For spreading the word!)
Julie: I'm glad to see you back, my friend. I missed you. I know how crazy things get around the end of the month...so I did not call in the posse to find you. Thanks for ALL of your great feedback!
Stella: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by.
That was hysterical!! I enjoy it when a listing lets you show the house, but its between the hours of like 1:32Pm and 2:26PM. And it shows only on every other Friday after a full moon..lol. Some of the showing instructions are just too funny.
Christina: I ACTUALLY tried to schedule an appointment one time to see a listing that said "MOTIVATED SELLER"...and they cancelled on me two times before I got in the door. NOT SO MOTIVATED! Thanks for the feedback!!
Elizabeth - I love this! And you are right on target!
Thanks for a chuckle, albeit too truthful, that has started my day on the right note.
Blessings to you, my friend. :)
Elizabeth,
Have you been looking at my listing sheets? LOL Of course not, because I wouldn't do those things. I'm always appreciative of those agents who call me with this kind of info. It helps to know the facts before the questions pop up. Great post. I look forward to the rest of your series and I'll be the first to get the book!
Carol: You know how I love to make you smile! GBY!!
Lola: I'll reserve a copy for you! ;-)
Andrew: You KNOW you'll get the first one!!
You guys are GREAT!!!
Elizabeth, how funny! I think this is the first time I've heard you rant! Probably before I came to AR, but my first time to enjoy it. I certainly want t a copy of the Rules book!!
Krista: SERIOUSLY!! Once, I opened the door and a huge dog wrapped his teeth around my knee cap. He held it there for a long time, before his owner stepped into the room and called him off. I was about to peepee. You can imagine that my client was not terribly interested in seeing that home after that.
Heather: The scenario you described is fairly common when dealing with sellers from some other cultures. Unless the listing agent really explains the 'way things work here'...they may just not know. That has happened to me...but I always make a note of it in the showing instructions. Which KW office are you in? Nice to meet you!
Candace: I have some crazy stories about insane sellers. One guy actually threatened me with a hammer when he saw that my clients were Hispanic. THAT would have been nice to know about ahead of time...RIGHT??
Jan: I wouldn't consider this a rant....more of an expose on the wrong way to do things...with a comic twist. ::LOOKING AROUND TO SEE IF THAT FLEW:: Glad you enjoyed!!
Liz,
Who does 72 hours policy in this market? That agent will definitely loose an offer with this market FULL of other listings.
Digital camera? So easy and cheap, I agree. Let's add pictures and make flyers for the house.
Thanks for great post
Never ceases to amaze me when I see listings that have been on the market for several months professing to have a motivated seller and there is not a single photograph! Or there is only a single photograph!
My clients have so much to choose from, you think they're just going to "overlook" the issues because they want your home so terribly much? News flash: they don't. That's why you aren't getting any showings!
It isn't about previewing any more - I have all my clients on Client Gateways through the MLS. If you don't have pictures, they aren't going to look at your listing! How many tens of thousands of dollars are you costing your sellers by NOT putting photos in the MLS?
Excellent post, excellent points.
Elizabeth, boy did you hit the nail on the head. I've always railed against listing agents that don't use lockboxes and require appointments a few days in advance, but you are SO right! Tell me if the sellers are "unusual" so that I can better handle the situation when I get there.
I had one seller one time accuse me of showing the house earlier because I laid my business card on the table and proceeded to show the house. She picked it up and started yelling about me showing it earlier, because my business card was already there. We actually did sell the house, and when I called and communicated with the listing agent she was kind enough to mention that her client might "indulge" in alchoholic beverages a bit too much. Good information....would have helped BEFORE my client just about freaked out!
Elizabeth- your post cracked me up, especially the FREAKS part. It is amazing that as a Realtor, we get to view ALL kinds of different lifestyles!
Elizabeth,
This is Hall of Fame material for struggling agents. It would be fun to know what school of real estate some agents have graduated from, but they sure got some things backward regarding the sale of a listing. Must read.
Maria: Pretty basic stuff, huh?? THANK you for stopping by!
Cindy: You are sooooooo right. These agents are really being irresponsible. IF ONLY their clients knew...right?
Pam: AT least you had a warning. I once drove an hour to show a home...no lockbox. (BUT I had a combo!) So...I called and called the listing agent...really upset that I could not find the lockbox. She finally answered the phone and told me that the lockbox was on the sign. WELL...isn't that pretty important information?? The house was on a two acre lot...and the sign was at the front of the property. I would NEVER have found that lockbox. That is just ONE of my stories. Haha...I'm still laughing!
Chris: YEAH...RIGHT! It is pretty difficult to explain a crazy seller to a sane buyer. IF I know ahead of time, I'll slip it into the conversation so they are prepared. :-)
Bryant: ALL of these examples are REAL. Believe it or not...I did not have to get at all creative for this one.
Robert: One thing is for sure...once you've met them...you'll never forget them! Blessings to you, my friend!
Candace: In THAT case...I represented the buyer. When I called the agent for the seller, she told me that he was just a very uptight guy. I said...'He threatened me with a hammer! That is a little beyond uptight.' When she went to talk to him about the situation, he told her that he didn't want any (bleep) people in his house. So...she finally got out of their listing agreement. Crazy, huh??
Sean: WAY too often!! :-)
Elizabeth,
I enjoy your post.
Another great idea to help sell the home would be if the seller would make the home accessible for the Home Inspector do their job. Many times we go in to a home for inspections and find the home in total chaos or have the seller refuse entry because the home is a wreck at the moment.
Lets remember if your selling your home, it should be picked up and cleaned to make a great appearance.
In my opinion, lets get the dogs, cats, and everyone out of the home where the buyer and the Inspector can look at the home. I've seen some homes in such a mess I can't understand why my client is even considering the home, but I keep quiet.
Rick Hurst
Home Works Inspection Co.
Rockwall TX.
Alecia: Crazy but true!! I warned you...you'll see a lot more stuff as time goes on. At least, you'll be prepared!
Natalie: I'm glad you enjoyed it! You know what they say? Truth is better than fiction.
Esko: THANKS!!! Maybe...after I publish my book...I'll give classes. ;-)
Christina: I'm just always so shocked that these guys keep getting listings. WHY??
Trevor: Maybe you need to come to NC and teach us how it should be done. We do have a lot of great agents also. It is just that the bad ones stand out in my mind.
WOW, Oh My GOODNESS!!!! Let me know when the book comes out, I am sure it gets even better. Thank you for the laugh and reality check all in one. Great post and I enjoyed reading it.
Kelly
A listing agreement should also include the following requirement for sellers regarding showing of their home.
FLUSH YOUR TOILETS BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOME!
I had a listing agent call me today to tell me how "surprised" her sellers were that I showed the home since the instructions were so clear on telling us to call the office first. She truly should have had the good grace to eat crow when I politely told her I had called her office and her assistant told me to go on over.
Is no one warning these folks that it's not a picnic to have buyers trooping through your house??
Josette,
I know your pain all to well. Try booking out 3-4 hrs. out your day to go out and perform a home inspection and the seller tell you no way in he77 are you coming in because the listing agent didn't let them know you were coming out.
Agent calls me then all upset wanting to know why I didn't let them know.
CHECK YOU VOICE MAIL MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK, I say.
If an agent gets a contract on the home, they should let the seller know that a home inspection is probably coming in the next few days.
Why is this so difficult for some?
And another thing, Have the utilities on.
Rick Hurst Home Works Inspections (Dallas)
Eliz - Wow girl, you crack me up, fell off the couch laughing...
Ok, so we call the phone to show number, no answer, that means ok go take a look, get to the house and there is the broken sign falling over in the yard. We approach the house and I see a big dog dish.... Then the lockbox has fallen off the porch rail (why can't they put it on the door knob) .. oh the door knob was broken...
Finally get inside..... at that point I tell my buyers ... don't take your shoes off in this one.... start across the dirty carpet and find a streak of dog poop on the way to the kitchen. (at least I hope it was only dog poop) Lights off, house a mess, stinky. We left....
Serves me right for not previewing (but the buyer threw it in at the last minute).... Worst part of the story is the Listing Agent is the OWNER. I guess when she didn't get the lockbox on the broken front door she didn't go in to see what the renter was doing..... Small company, no training, but only $200 per month to have her license there.
You are marvelous.....
List and Sell (and write books too) Gary
www.RentonHomeFinder.com
It is so strange the people and personalities we run into in the real estate business.
Some really funny, some really sad, and some enough to make you mad.
Elizabeth,
Look who got the little gold star!!! Congrats on the feature. All of your posts deserve them. I was thinking about this post yesterday when I came across a listing with no picture, but the listing agent swears it's a gem. Listed in poor condition, yet the public comments say it's in move in condition. By appointment only, but you can only make an appointment by e-mail. It might take me 3 days to get a response. You see? It's not just your market.
Kelly: You KNOW I will! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Tracey: With this response...I HAVE to write one!! Thanks!
Antionette: THANKS, my friend! The first one is really funny also..I think!
Curt: You are so complimentary. I think this is my proof that I should follow my gut and write. I'll make sure you get a copy!
Candace: Don't worry...I'm not the victim type. I got a piece of him also...after the fact. I made sure that everyone knew to stay away from that home. They eventually had to do FSBO...but they never sold. Serves them right. AND...the reason they wanted to sell is because they felt that too many Hispanics were moving to their area. Does it make sense to you that they want to move because their neighborhood is becoming 'Hispanic' but they won't allow Hispanics to see their home for sale? I could not wrap my brain around that. Then I realized...it is because I'm sane. Luv ya girl!! Be blessed!!
Denise: Thanks for stopping by!
Ryan: You're welcome! I like to see you smile!
Lupe: CIERTO...NO? We are a team...the listing agent and the buyer agent are working for the same goal...to get the home sold to the right buyer. Why is that so difficult for people to understand. You have a great week, also!!
Allen: YOU NAILED IT! The market is slow...so the listing agent goes into neutral...just cruising along. Does that make any sense to you? The market is slow...I'll kick my butt to make sure my sellers stand out above the crowd. :-)
Rick: I'm definitely including that one in the book!!!
Josette: Isn't it kinda expected...I put my home on the market...strangers will come into my home. CONNECT THE DOTS ALREADY!!! HAHA
Rick: I know...so simple really. I have sent emails to agents...because I want everything in writing...only to have them tell me..."Well...I only check my email once a week." ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDIN' ME? I check my email 20 times a day. How do you do business like that?
Stefan: You can send it to anyone...no hay problema!! :-)
Gary: I'm picturing you falling off the sofa...great to know that you enjoyed it that much! I enjoyed writing it! Now your story...WOW! Dog poop, huh? Some listing agent... You know...if that is how she treats her own home (as far as getting it ready for market)...how much confidence would you place in her ability to market your home? YEAH! YOU are the wonderful one!!! Give your beautiful wifey a hug for me!
Erby: I go through ALL of those emotions everyday!!
Andrew: WOW!! It certainly makes you wonder, huh? (AND...I'm still smiling about your comment the other day about wanting to give me your gold star. You are a sweetie!!)
Liz
I think that these Agents need a course in how to keep your database customers current and in INFORMED! This is the year 2007, Technology is here, now and the future. The MLS is now on the computer and not in a book. Thanks for yet another laugh. Oh, and yes I second that flushing the toilet before you leave the house, my goodness, no surprises! The stories are great!
Kelly: Glad you got a laugh!!
Lane: That list is shrinking pretty quickly, huh?? It occurs to me...that if WE don't put up with that behavior...they might just change it. Whatcha think??
Christina: OH! That's another good one!!
Michael: I'm glad you liked it! Michael...if you could see some of the places that I've 'found' the lockbox. One time...it was on a water spigot...that was behind prickly bushes. I mean...GIMME A BREAK!! I don't do prickly bushes! One time...and you are not going to believe me...the lockbox was under the house...in the crawlspace. WHY would anyone put it there? More importantly...WHAT makes a listing agent think that I'm gonna go under a dark crawlspace to get a lockbox. OH NO!!! They have obviously mistaken me for someone much more adventuresome. :-)
Amen to that -- five times over.
I have several agents I would like to send this to.
I laughed harder and harder after reading each one of these. The sad thing is that there are so many agents out there who actually need to be told these things.
Kathy
I just cut a listing loose because of this. The man is a recluse and he wouldn't let ME, this listing agent into his mobile home (rust-bucket tuna can) because he had antiques stored in there. And Heaven forbid, I might steal them. I took this listing because the man worked with my husband. Little did I know at the time, that he was a nut job. He wouldn't let anybody look inside the partially built 2 story home that he STARTED in 2003 and never finished because he's got stuff laying everywhere and they might trip and sue him. Nevermind that NOBODY wants to show that listing because the house has been OPEN TO THE ELEMENTS for 6 years. ICK! It wouldn't pass inspection. When I tried to explain to him that it was overpriced, I kept getting the "You're the professional" comment from him but he NEVER took any of my advice. Oh, I could go on and on...but I won't. You get the idea.
I am loving your series, by the way! I had gotten out of blogging consistently until recently and I figured I'd pop over and see how you have been. Hope all is going well with you and your precious family. Take care!