Raleigh - Durham...A Real N.C. Girl's Perspective

I, Elizabeth Nieves, am the proud and rightful inventor of ‘MONSTER SPRAY'. YES...YES...YES...I KNOW you are thinking that a little, country girl from North Carolina could NOT possibly have been the first to create such an amazingly useful product. ::slightly puffed up:: Oh...it is true, my friend. I assure you it is very true. (Just ask Former V.P. Al Gore...He'll vouch for me! I invented it around the same time he invented the internet.)

For those of you who may not be familiar with ‘monster spray'...and certainly that is only a small handful of you...I will introduce it to you and share how this glorious product came to be. When my oldest daughter, Avery, was 18 months old, I decided that she needed a ‘big girl' bed. I found an antique captain's bed...from a long-retired navy ship. It was beat up and bruised, but I brought it back to life by sanding and refinishing. It took me weeks to complete. (Afterwards, I was beat up and bruised, too!)

During the weeks that I worked on her bed, I kept telling Avery how wonderful it would be for her to have her own ‘big girl' bed. She was really excited...until the first night that she was to sleep in her new bed. That night...after I tucked her in and sang her favorite song...she ‘popped' out of bed and announced that she could not sleep. Another song...another kiss...and she was on her way to sleepy town. Five minutes later, she ‘popped' out of bed again. This time, she announced that there were monsters in her room...that she could see them.

Being ‘SUPERMOMMY' (that really is my official title)...I did some quick thinking and went back in her room with her...to look for the ‘monsters'. From her bed, we quietly waited for the ‘monsters' to make their appearance. They must have been afraid (as they should have been) of ‘SUPERMOMMY' because no monsters showed up. Avery told me that they would only come out if I left the room. That gave me an idea.

I quickly ran and found an almost empty, clear hairspray bottle. I cleaned it...filled it with warm water and some of my perfume...added a few drops of food coloring.  I then made a label that read ‘MONSTER SPRAY'...and gave it a few cute designs. (See now why I'm SUPERMOMMY?) I was ARMED and DANGEROUS...and READY to fight the ‘monsters' in Avery's room. Three spritzes of ‘monster spray' later, my baby girl was asleep. (AIN'T NO MONSTERS OUT TONIGHT!!!) MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! ::putting her spray gun away and taking a little bow::

Avery is twenty now, and it has been years since I've had to use ‘monster spray' to get her to sleep. (I tried it once when she was sixteen...discovered that teenagers are immune to ‘monster spray'!) However, the other day, when I was dealing with a particularly difficult agent, I had the thought... "I wonder if ‘monster spray' would work on this guy!" ::lightbulb shining brightly:: I chuckled just picturing myself pulling out my secret stash of ‘monster spray' and saying, "Excuse me, Mr. REALTOR®,  do you mind if I spray you with a couple of squirts of this stuff? Don't worry...you won't feel a thing...but I'll feel sooooooooooo much better!"

That very day...'MONSTER SPRAY' for REALTORS® was born! IF you are suffering from any of the following symptoms...‘MONSTER SPRAY' for REALTORS® is for YOU!

• Closing delays (2 sprays)
• A phone call from your sellers to complain that no one is looking at their home (when you've explained to them eight times that there are five other homes on the market in their neighborhood AND theirs is the most expensive.) (1 spray should do...prior to each conversation)
• You've been showing your client homes for three months, and today they told you that they have decided to use their down payment money to buy a motorcycle. (4 sprays and an aspirin)
• You arrive at a closing for your out-of-state buyer (who has all his worldly possessions on a truck in the parking lot) and learn that the sellers can't close because they need to bring $6,000 (that they do not have) to closing. (6 sprays, two aspirin and a massage)
• You drive 100 miles over five different counties and show your buyer client the 14^th house in the same day...when she tells you that she probably wants to increase her price range by 100k and look at homes closer to town. (Dosage not known... ‘monster spray' has not been tested under this level of stress. Use as needed.)
• You FINALLY find the perfect home for your buyer client...but they want to take a second look...then a third look...then they want to bring a friend to see it...then they want to think about it over the weekend...then another buyer thinks it is perfect and actually makes an offer...then YOUR CLIENT is upset with you because they lost the home to the other buyer. (Take a HOT bath in ‘monster spray'...and try to avoid people for at least 24 hours!)
• You go to a listing appointment...fully educated and prepared. You present the sellers with your suggested listing price, but they tell you that another REALTOR® (and their neighbor) told them their house was worth $10,000 more. They tell you that they want to hire you, because you are so knowledgeable and professional, but they want to list it for the higher price. You insist on your price, but they are determined. You agree to take the listing...and to test the market with the higher price for two weeks. You explain that ‘The market speaks'...that two weeks will be enough to determine if the market will, in fact, support the price. Two weeks pass without any showings. You call to tell them that it is time to reduce the price, and they yell at you for ‘wasting two weeks' of their precious market time. (‘Monster spray' will do nothing for this situation! You will need the patience that ONLY GOD can give you to hold your tongue.)

***All of these examples are real. YES...NOW you can see why I invented ‘MONSTER SPRAY' for REALTORS®!!! ***

‘MONSTER SPRAY' for REALTORS®

Just SPRAY...PRAY...and watch your 'MONSTERS' go away!!!

Written and Posted by:

Elizabeth Nieves - Broker, REALTOR®, 'SUPERMOMMY' -- The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group @ Keller Williams (A Bilingual Real Estate Team serving Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill NC and surrounding areas.)

Visit our website at www.ElizabethNieves.com